


when we both fall asleep underneath the same sky

by jinxfabray



Series: beside you [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-05
Updated: 2013-12-05
Packaged: 2018-01-03 12:51:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1070660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jinxfabray/pseuds/jinxfabray
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>in which harry is once again pining after niall, and louis comes up with crazy plans to bring liam and zayn together</p><p>"How he ended up in this one, he can't tell. He doesn't know anyone but Harry and Zayn, and Louis isn't anywhere to be found even though he physically dragged him to the party hours ago. It's making Liam cranky because he has an exam on Monday and he really wishes he was in his room, either sleeping or studying. Anything but standing in the middle of this sweaty crowd, feeling guilty about all the stuff he should be reading but isn't, and staring at Zayn in a way that's borderline stalkerish by now, which makes him also feel guilty. This has to be the worst party he's ever been to."</p>
            </blockquote>





	when we both fall asleep underneath the same sky

**Author's Note:**

> all mistakes are sara's fault because she beta'd it and i didn't re-read it afterwards. louis stays single and straight throughout this whole thing because he's secretly dating sara (jk). hope you enjoy it!

The sky outside is at its bluest, sun shining brightly through the window, contrasting deeply with the atmosphere inside the flat. It's been a month since Niall left, and a week since Harry left his couch. He doesn't even want to think of how long it's been since he last showered. It wasn't supposed to be this hard. They had six perfect months together, and he knew all along that Niall would eventually have to go on tour once again, but he'd done his best not to think about that at all until suddenly it was too late and he was leaving for a whole year and he really should have prepared better for this. For the first couple of weeks, Harry somehow managed to continue with his life as if nothing had happened but then a week ago, it was as if he'd only just understood the magnitude of what had happened. It had all come crashing down around him and he'd sat down on his couch, holding his head in his hands, and hadn't moved since then.

Zayn should have known better than introducing the two of them.

Like every afternoon for the past six days, Harry's curled up in his couch, some action movie playing in his TV that he's not paying any attention to. Hours pass by without him noticing because he doesn't care much about that either. Sometimes he considers drowning his sorrows in alcohol, like Louis always recommends, but it doesn't sound appealing. He could use a little oblivion, sure, but he knows it's all going to be right there the following morning and he can't spend the rest of his life drunk. Eventually, he'll get over this whole thing and get on with his life. All he needs is for Niall's goddamn band to break apart so he never has to hear them on the radio or see them on TV again.

It's a little sad, how they used to be his biggest obsession and then when his obsession with Niall actually transitioned into proper, requited love, it all went away. Both his passion for the band and for him. In his often sleepless three am's, he can't help but think his main sources of joy have been taken from him rather harshly. Now that the sun is shining through his window and life looks a little less grim, he knows he's got a lot of other great stuff going on for him, yet nothing compares to Niall. And he wishes his entire universe didn't spin around him, he wishes he wasn't so dependent, and he knows that if someone was to see the state he's in they'd judge him for being so clingy, but they don't know. They have no idea what it was like, how perfectly they fit together, how easy it was to slip into each other. To fall in love.

If he closes his eyes and breathes deeply he can feel it all coming back to him, waves of broken promises and midnight conversations that pile up too quickly until he's drowning. I love yous and I won't leave yous and I need yous. All shattered away, lost in the haze. He wants to be angry at Niall for leaving him, for being so rational about it, saying there was no point in them dating if he was going to be away for a whole year and it would only cause them a lot of heartache. It was better this way, Niall had said so and Harry had agreed. I'll be back and I'll love you just as much as I do now. No worrying about someone cheating out of loneliness. Just freedom to find comfort in any possible way without risking anything. It made sense, it was a solid argument, but right now, when his heart is feeling so empty Harry is starting to think it might be turning into a black hole and eating up whatever positive feelings he had left, he wishes they'd ignored logic, because he is realizing pretty quickly that freedom was the last thing he'd ever wanted.

He is once again starting to doze off -he's been sleeping a lot lately, for some reason- when he hears his door opening up and he turns around startled. Only Zayn has keys to his flat, and he already dropped by that morning to make sure he was still alive and bring him groceries which he wasn't planning on eating, so it can't be him. There is a loud noise that sounded like someone tripping over something and it isn't until he hears the cussing that follows that he puts down the lamp he'd picked up to defend himself. He doesn't let go of it though, because he's known Louis for long enough to have the common sense to be prepared in case he's come to try and drag him out of his room.

As he expected, Louis walks into the room and drops himself on the couch next to him, grabbing the bag of chips that Zayn had thoughtfully brought him and he hadn't even touched yet. "So, Harold, tell me something, because it's been troubling me since the last time I saw you. How come you don't shower or eat, but you shave? Or have you not gone through puberty yet? I guess that would make more sense, wouldn't it?"

Harry rolls his eyes at him, snatching the bag away from him just to show him he isn't welcomed. He doen't understand why his friends can't leave him alone, he'll eventually get over this whole thing and come back out from his shell but them bugging him about it isn't exactly speeding up the process. Out of all them, Louis has so far been the one who's been most annoying about it, so he can already tell what he was going to say before he's even opened up his mouth.

"Since you're not answering my questions and you keep glaring at me like some very grumpy kitten, I guess I'll just skip the small talk and go straight into serious business. We need to talk about Liam."  
Oh. That isn't what he's been expecting at all. He raises an eyebrow, deciding he might as well speak if they aren't going to be talking about how greasy his hair was or how he really needs to go check out the new Starbucks. As if he hasn't been to a million different Starbucks in his life.

"What about Liam? Is he okay?" Now that he thinks about it, it's been a really long time since he last saw Liam. Not that he's been seeing anyone regularly but Zayn, but he didn't see Liam all that much when Niall was still around either. Or maybe he just didn't notice him. He wasn't paying much attention to anyone who wasn't blonde and Irish back then. His mind is already going down memory lane before he can stop it and he lets out a sigh. Maybe he won't get over it for at least another couple of years.

"He's not, thank you for asking. And he needs our help, as does your buddy Zayn, or else they'll spend the rest of their lives pining after one another without doing anything about it when they could be perfectly happy together if they got over themselves and stopped whining and started kissing or whatever it is they daydream of doing." As usual, Louis' train of thought goes by too quickly and it takes Harry a couple of seconds to process everything he's just said. Liam is pining after Zayn? When did that happen? He sits up straighter, for once not having to feign his interest because if he's being honest, he still feels slightly guilty for introducing the two of them when he knew so little about Liam and putting his best friend's heart through such pain.

"I thought the whole problem had been because Liam wasn't into guys." His voice is raspy and it sounds as if he's spent the last week screaming at the top of his lungs, when really it's just that he hasn't spoken to anyone in more hours than he can count. Louis doesn't seem to notice, he's too focused on changing the channel until he finds what appears to be America's Next Top Model and finally turns to face him.

"Well, yeah, about that." He starts, running his hand over his face as he contemplates how to explain himself without giving away every detail of Liam's personal life, or at least that what Harry's convinced he's doing. It's what he always does, and then he always ends up revealing as many dirty secrets as he can come up with. "Liam had a tough time, before college. I'm not sure what happened exactly, because he doesn't like talking about it, but he was bullied, y'know. Kids back home didn't think his love for comic books and dorky teenage bands was cool and that apparently was enough for them to make his life hell. And college changed everything for him, his life is so much easier now, and I think- I think he believes coming out will send him straight back to it."

  
It's odd to hear Louis going on about something for more than a sentence without cracking up a joke, but this is serious, and Harry can't begin to imagine what that must have been like for Liam. His life was always rather easy, but when he first met Zayn, he was going through some tough things too. Being friends with Harry helped a lot, because people didn't want to upset the golden boy, so they eventually left them alone, but before that- well, Harry hadn't been there, yet he knows how Zayn still winces at mentions of his past in school. How sometimes someone around them says something rude, and he hunches his shoulders, trying to make himself go unnoticed, closing his eyes as if he's having war flashbacks.

"I wish I could say it won't." Harry sighs, crossing his legs and resting his elbows on his knees. "But it will make his life harder. People around here act like they're all so accepting and supportive but there's always someone who will say mean things behind your back once you're out. It's just the way it is, and it can be hard at first. Even if he's lucky enough to have someone who will hold his hand through it all."

Louis doesn't say anything back for a while, but he doesn't need to. Harry knows they're both thinking about how terribly unfair it is that these things happen. So much love going to waste because people can't deal with others having different interests than them. It's sad, and since he was already halfway through becoming properly depressed, this is just another step in that direction that he nearly takes, when Louis decides to speak up again.

"It's shit, but I won't stand for it. You're all so incredibly sad it's making my life very boring because none of you is ever in the mood to do anything that doesn't include moping. I can't fix your problem, so we're fixing theirs. Now." He bangs his hand against Harry's knee and he lets out a yelp of pain.  
Choosing to ignore Louis' comment about his own pathetic love life and rubbing at the mark he left on his skin, Harry nods at him. "Now I'm even sadder, but okay. Do you have any ideas on how exactly we're going to do that?" Louis chuckles at this, standing up and putting his hands on his hips.  
"My dear Harold, I always have a plan."

 

It turns out Louis doesn't just have a plan, he has billions of them. Sadly, they all include either something illegal or something that will probably get them killed by Zayn before they can even get on it, so they end up sitting around and watching every crappy TV show they can find while he keeps coming up with impossible ideas one after the other, at a speed Harry can't quite believe.

"How long have we been sitting here and why are we sitting on the floor when I have a perfectly comfortable couch I was sitting on when you came in?" It's one am, and if Louis hadn't yawned right in his face, Harry doesn't know how much longer they would have kept going just like that. He feels hazy, like he's stepping out of a cloud, because it's only hitting him now that he hasn't even once stopped to think about how miserable he is and how terrible his life is and how much he misses Niall. He still misses him, but it's been a while since he went for more than five minutes without devoting his every thought to his absence, and it feels nice. It feels like he's getting the chance to breathe again. He wants to thank Louis for helping him achieve this, but he's still very focused on elaborating his last plan, which involves setting Liam's room in fire and locking him in there.

"... and then, Zayn will have to break the door. Do you reckon he can break the door? We could replace the door with a fake one if not, I'm sure that can be arranged."

Harry laughs loudly and Louis looks startled, which only makes him laugh harder. He seems to have meant every single one of his crazy ideas, and that is both worrying and endearing of him.

"Have you thought maybe we should just try talking to Liam about this?" Louis' eyes go wide open and Harry considers that maybe he really didn't think of that at all until just now. He grins and nods vehemently, throwing his hands in the air.

"That is a great idea, we can explain to him what he's missing on by being such a baby about this and then he'll definitely come around. You can do the explaining, I don't know much about how gay sex works and I wouldn't want to promise him things that he won't be able to get after."

Months ago, Harry might have actually tried saying something back, maybe he'd even have explained there was no need to talk about sex when they could just tell him about love and having someone you cared for next to you, but by now he knows Louis well enough to calculate exactly how loudly he'd cackle at all of those things. And it is very loud, too much for his tired brain, so he just shakes his head and laughs along.

"I'll do that, sure. But since we're not doing that right now, we should go to bed." He suggests, already standing up and stretching just like a cat. Before he can say anything else, Louis is piling up pillows on the couch and he should have expected this. It's still a little weird, to think that in the morning he won't have to face the solitude of his very empty room. He makes a mental note to one day thank Louis for this, for all of this, preferably when he's drunk so he won't remember it later, and then he goes into his bedroom.

It only takes one second for everything he built up during that afternoon to fall apart. The moment he's faced with his empty bed and the stupid picture that he can't bring himself to put down, the angst creeps up again into his stomach, settling in comfortably, a heavy weight that he can't seem to let go of. He's tired enough to let sleep slowly in until his mind stops going over memories that shift between warm and frightening too quickly, and just before he drifts off into slumber, he gives one last look at the picture. That bright grin flashed right at him, so natural he can just hear the sound of his loud laughter playing in his ears when he looks at it, a smile so wide and pure he can't understand how it can possibly be causing him this much pain.

 

Talking to Liam isn't as easy as it sounds. For starters, he seems to sense something's up -it's their fault, clearly, because the first time they attempted to do it they showed up at his room with the most menacing smiles on their faces and he would have had to be incredibly daft not to see there was something going on. But then there's also the fact that they need to do it without Zayn finding out, and it's a bit hard to achieve when he keeps hanging out with them all the time. Harry's pretty sure Zayn knows something's off as well, because he keeps showing up whenever he's with Liam, or maybe it's just that the two of them have been avoiding spending any time on their own, so they do their best to stick around Harry and Louis so they can get to hang out with each other without it being too obvious. It's all incredibly stupid, and Harry might go crazy if this thing doesn't get fixed soon.

"This would be much easier if he went back to hating me. That way I might actually get a moment to go talk to Liam. Except I guess if he still hated me then I wouldn't be trying to set him up with my best friend. Unless Liam still liked him, though I'm not sure if I love Liam enough to endure him going out with someone who hates me. Are you even listening to me?"

By now, Louis' voice is background noise in Harry's life, constantly keeping him company and filling up every silence so he's never alone with his thoughts. It should be annoying, but his mind isn't a safe place yet, so he's actually a bit grateful that he gets a break from it. Again, this is something he shouldn't tell Louis.

"Yes, but I was just thinking there is one place where Zayn can't see me terrorizing Liam into dating him." He says slowly, lifting his index finger to emphasize his point. "Class. I can talk to him in class."  
Louis sighs and rolls his eyes, which is never a good sign, and Harry instantly pouts because his idea is brilliant and Louis knows nothing. "As much as I approve of you not wanting to go with the stream and ignore your teacher, I don't think you could get even half of the things he needs to hear before you got kicked out of- I'm a genius. I'm a bloody genius, you should be kneeling for me. Not like that, Harold, you know I'm not into that, get your mind off the gutter!" It's impossible to follow Louis' train of thoughts, so Harry waits as he keeps on talking to himself. "We're getting detention. Zayn can't sneak in there, and Liam can't escape us, it's perfect."

Under any other circumstances, Harry would be upset that he hasn't thought of this himself because it truly is a perfect plan, but they have been spending too much time trying to come up with a good way to do this for him to be anything but incredibly pleased that they finally got it and he can go back to studying. After a little while, it dawns on him that there is something very wrong with this plan.

"Lou. We're in college. There's no detention in college."

The way Louis' face drops at this is heartbreaking, but he immediately fistbumps the air, grinning like a mad person, and Harry's never been this scared of anything in his life.

"This is so much better than detention, I'm pretty sure it's my brightest idea ever. Don't you worry about it, Harold, I will take care of this and you just have to stick around so I can get you and Liam in a confined place where Zayn can't reach you, and you better have a good speech prepared to talk Liam out of his fears because this is going to be a one in a lifetime kind of thing. Now, I need to go work in the details. It's going to be marvelous!"

Louis starts walking away, and it's too late to back out now, but Harry knows this is something he's going to regret. Nothing good can come out of Louis' mind when his eyes are sparkling like that. For a couple of days, he lives in fear of what might happen, but then a week goes by and Louis hasn't tried to handcuff him and Liam together or anything like it, so he relaxes. It's a terrible mistake.

 

The first time Louis attempts to do something, it goes so catastrophically wrong that any other human being would have given up on the plan as whole right then and there. They're at the gym, which should have really tipped Liam off because the presence of Louis in a gym is as rare as penguins on the Sahara desert, but he's been talking their ears off since they ran into him and it's hard to think when he keeps being so noisy. It's so hard to focus on anything but the constant gibberish that keeps coming out of his mouth, that not even Harry notices that he's just sitting there for the entire hour while they run on the treadmill. He doesn't do anything, and he's not even wearing sweatpants, so there's clearly something up his sleeve.

"I gotta say I never thought we'd find you here, Lou, but it's been fun." Liam says as he steps off the machine, wiping away his forehead with a towel that Louis eyes with disgust and gulping down half a water bottle. Harry would say something, but ever since he started training with Liam he's been doing his best to keep up with him and it's really hard. The guy can run for a whole hour and all he gets is a single drop of sweat, while Harry can't feel any of his limbs, so he just does his best to sit down on the treadmill without his legs failing him. It takes him a little while to catch his breath, and when he does look at Louis, he's waggling his eyebrows at him. Shit. He's not in the mood to deal with whatever crazy plan Louis' come up with, no matter how much he wants to help Zayn get his love life together.

"Listen, Lou, we're gonna head off. The showers here are disgusting, so we're gonna go back home, are you coming?" He asks, though he's pretty sure Louis didn't go there to do anything but talk to them so he probably has no reason to stay behind. He jumps up easily, and stretches out his hand to help Harry get back on his feet. Liam laughs at them when Harry's knees go all wobbly under him, and he puts an arm on his shoulder until he's stable.

"You don't have to push yourself that hard, Haz, you gotta find your own rhythm." Liam says as he pats him on the back though Harry really wishes he wouldn't because his legs are shaky enough as it is. There is no way he can make it down three flights of stairs in the state he's in, so they go straight for the lift, and Louis stops right outside.

"I'm not getting in there with you two smelling like a camel pissed on you." He says scrunching up his face and Harry shrugs his shoulders as he leans to push the lift's button. "Wait. Fine, I'll go with you, but only if you let me press the button."

It's a childish demand, but that's so typical of Louis that Harry steps back as he goes in. First, he does press the right button gently, but then there's this spark of what is probably something very close to insanity, and he pushes all of the buttons. The lift stops, the lights go off, and suddenly there's a hand clutching Harry's.

"What the fuck, Louis?" Harry asks, though he can tell this is all part of his plan, but there's a part of him that's hoping it isn't because if it is, then it's the worst plan ever. Trust Louis not to know how terrified Liam is of elevators as a rule, let alone being locked inside them. It took Harry months to get him to ride it on their way back from the gym, and now all his progress has been shattered away because Louis never thinks before doing things.

"Come on, lads, take it easy. It's just a tiny malfunction, I'm sure we'll be out of here in no time." He can hear Louis voice coming from somewhere to his left, and he stretches out his hand trying to slap him but he can't find him. Liam's holding so tightly that his left hand is starting to go numb. "Now, since it looks like we might be stuck in here for a little while, we might as well make something out of our time here, yeah?"

If the lights were on, Harry could stare very intently at Louis until he caught the hint, but with the way things are, he can't do anything subtly. "I don't think this is the right moment, Lou." He hisses through his teeth, and there's something glowing behind him so he turns around and sees Liam texting away frantically with his free hand.

"Your loss, Harold, I think this would have been a great moment we could have all shared and maybe something interesting would have come out of it. Now we'll never know." Louis' voice now comes from down below and okay, he's sitting on the floor. That means he's expecting to be here for several hours, or else he wouldn't have dared get his beloved jeans dirty, especially when this elevator is used by so many sweaty people. But they've been there for literally ten minutes when the lights go back on, and the lift starts moving again. Liam lets out a sigh of relief, and he lets go of Harry's hand, smiling at both of them.  
"Do you have contacts in the lift world, Leemo?" Harry asks, raising an eyebrow at him as he shoves his phone back in his pocket and the smile on his face is so wide it's nearly blinding.

"Nah, I texted Zayn and he, huh, I guess he got someone to help us?"

Predictably, Louis ruins the moment by cackling so loudly it resonates in the entire lobby as the lift's door go open, which makes Liam blush profoundly and Harry just glares at him because that is so unhelpful, they're never going to get Liam to think people won't be mean to him when he comes out if Louis keeps laughing at him whenever he says anything about Zayn. Louis' attitude is so incredibly counterproductive that if he didn't know him better, he'd think he doesn't want this plan to work.

 

The second time comes shortly after, and Harry really should have seen this one coming. Apparently being friends with Louis means getting dragged by him to wherever he pleases, which is how in the short time they've been friends Harry and Zayn have been to more parties than they had in their entire life pre Louis, which is saying a lot because Harry was pretty popular back in high school. Liam doesn't go to half of them and they don't know how he manages to get Louis off his back because he pesters them incessantly if they don't show up to one of his invitations, yet Liam doesn't seem to be bothered by it and he only goes to the ones that are hosted by people he actually knows.

How he ended up in this one, he can't tell. He doesn't know anyone but Harry and Zayn, and Louis isn't anywhere to be found even though he physically dragged him to the party hours ago. It's making Liam cranky because he has an exam on Monday and he really wishes he was in his room, either sleeping or studying. Anything but standing in the middle of this sweaty crowd, feeling guilty about all the stuff he should be reading but isn't, and staring at Zayn in a way that's borderline stalkerish by now, which makes him also feel guilty. This has to be the worst party he's ever been to.

He's just about to subtly leave when Louis shows up, grabbing Harry's hand so tightly it's paler than usual, and he doesn't seem to be very pleased about it. "Liam!" He shouts over the music, and he grabs his hand too, an elated grin on his face. "Let's go get some air!" Liam has no idea what he's saying but he seems to be taking him away from the crowd and he's grateful for that, so he follows him. Soon, they're going up some stairs Liam hadn't seen until now, and Louis is opening up a door to a room that looks like someone's bedroom so they probably shouldn't be here, but at least the music isn't so loud and Liam can finally hear himself thinking. Then, Louis opens up yet another door, and there's a balcony. There's a proper balcony right there, the night sky ahead of them so inviting in its quietness that neither Harry nor Liam can resist it. It's only when they're both out there, delighting themselves in breathing air that doesn't smell like smoke, that someone speaks again.

"It's so nice out here, perfect mood to have profound, life changing talks, isn't it?" Louis says from behind them, and before Liam can even turn to ask him what he means, he's locking the door, convincing Liam that college has indeed drove him mental. He taps the door, but Harry sighs next to him and he knows there's no point. Louis won't let them out until he's had his fun, or until they get Zayn to come yell at him, but judging from the state he was in last time he saw him, Zayn is past the point of being able to scare Louis into doing anything. He'd just giggle at him and mumble incoherent sentences until he got distracted and went away, so no, there's no point in getting him here. He'd be useless, that's why, it has nothing to do with Liam being terrified of being around him when he's like this because what if he tries to kiss him. He couldn't possibly say no to that, but it can't happen again, it's... It just can't.

His mind is going into overdrive already, when Harry shakes him out of it rather literally. "Do you reckon we jump from here to there?" He asks, and for a moment Liam is scared he might have two crazy friends, but then he realizes Harry is pointing at a big pile of leaves and well, that doesn't sound so far fetched. Maybe it's those two beers he had earlier that are making him think that, or maybe he just really wants to surprise Louis and hopefully lock him up so he learns to stop trying to get him into confined places. They hear him shouting "There's air around you, Liam, no need to panic!", and there's a shared look between them that tells him he isn't the only one looking for vengeance.

It's not that long of a fall, he figures, as he tries to measure the distance with his eyes but truth be told things are a little blurry for him at the moment, and this kid's backyard is covered in leaves. He figures they probably won't break anything if they fall, as long as they try not to do so standing up because then they'll break their ankles like that guy in The Dark Knight.

"I bet Batman could totally do it." He mumbles to himself, and Harry nods vehemently. "Yeah, that's the spirit. Come on, we can do it!" He says, and okay, maybe he's had many more drinks than Liam has, but he's sounding so confident that it makes Liam nod along with him and he actually lifts his leg over the balcony before the door opens up and Louis runs out, grabbing his arm.

"You two are absolute morons, I swear to God, I can't leave you alone for five seconds. You had one job, Harry, literally one job!" He yells and Harry's bending over from how hard he's laughing. Liam doesn't understand a thing, but he doesn't waste a second before stepping into the room, in case Louis decides to lock them out again.

Little does he know, the more catastrophically his plans fail, the more effort Louis puts into the next one.

 

It's a Thursday night and they're at a bar because one of Harry's friends is playing there, and Zayn isn't there, so the scenario is rather appropriate for them to try and talk to Liam, but Louis keeps shaking his head at Harry whenever he attempts to say anything that remotely approaches the subject. Harry's getting a little annoyed, because if they're not going to be talking about it then he doesn't understand why Louis was so adamant about not inviting Zayn, until he sees him winking and slipping off his stool. Oh. Okay. So something is going to happen. He takes in a deep breath, looking around to see what Louis could possibly be up to, trying to spot hidden doors to some sort of private room that he might be planning on getting them into. What he sees next is miles away from anything he could have possibly expected.

It's a bit of blur, because it all happens too fast for him to process. Liam stands up so quickly from his stool that it falls behind him and Harry has to keep himself from stopping to put it back up because for some reason, Louis just bumped into a guy the size of a mountain and he's on the verge of getting punched. Though Louis' always been a little too cheeky and it has gotten him in trouble before, he usually backs out pretty quickly because getting into fights would mean risking having his face hurt in some way and he likes it too much to let that happen. Yet there he is, sticking his chest out and raising the volume of his voice as Liam comes to stand behind him, right when the guy's had enough of whatever it is Louis' been saying to him. Before he can think about what he's doing, Harry's jumping to get Louis out of the middle while Liam bravely takes the punch that he's just avoided, and does his best to keep any of them from getting any more hurt, all the while trying to explain to the guy that there are better methods of solving this.

The problem is that the guy doesn't seem to be alone, and suddenly there's another tall dude standing next to Harry and trying to grab him, so he kicks back and yells at Louis for help, but he's nowhere to be seen. He has no idea when he fled the scene, but he's somehow managed to disappear and leave both him and Liam in the middle of these two broad guys who keep looking at them like they would very much like to eat them alive. As much as Harry trusts Liam's boxing skills, there's two of them and he can't defend himself at all, so this is clearly a lost battle. It's too bad, because as sad as he is about Niall and everything, he was rather fond of being alive. At least half of his biggest dream came true, he thinks as the guy cracks his knuckles and he feels Liam tensing up behind him, even if he didn't end up marrying Niall, he got to date him, so that's good enough. Still. The marriage part was sort of important in his dream, and he would have liked to fulfill it. Maybe if he tries to sneak between the guy's legs he can make a run for it, and there might be a chance for his survival. He decides right then and there that if he does make it out of this alive, he's calling Niall and telling him he misses him.  
It's exactly when he's wondering whether his life will flash before his eyes or not that the door of the bar opens up and bangs loudly against the wall as a couple of policemen come in.

 

The moment it dawns on him that this was Louis' plan along, Harry grunts loudly enough for Liam to look up from the corner in which he's sulking. They've been sitting in a prison cell for three hours now, and they'll probably be spending the rest of the night in there thanks to Louis, whose whereabouts remain unknown. Luckily the policemen who brought them in were smart enough to put the scary guys in another cell, but the whole thing is incredibly ridiculous. He could have spoken to Liam easily at the bar, but no, Louis had to go and turn it all into a dramatic, very movie like type of thing. He loves the guy, he truly does, but he never knows when he's going too far. Even now, when to any other normal person it would be clear as water that this is taking things way past the limit of what's considered rational, Harry knows he's probably sitting in his room feeling very pleased with himself. It's frustrating.

However, if they are going to be stuck in there, he figures he might as well try and talk to Liam. He sits next to him, sighing deeply because this is not how this should be happening, and he tries to come up with the best way to start.

"You like Zayn, right?"

That wasn't the best way to start. Liam looks a bit like a deer in the headlights, all wide eyes and a look of complete panic in his face that would be funny if Harry wasn't so irritated with the world.

"Listen, mate, I know you like him. Mostly because you're very obvious about it and you stare at him every time you're together in a way that makes me want to tear my hair out because I don't have anyone to stare at like that, but also because of, you know, the kiss and you running away."

This is clearly not the best day for Harry to be doing this, but now he's started already and he can't go back because that will just lead to them spending a very awkward twelve hours locked up in a prison cell. He's going to punch Louis right in the face next time he sees him. Or even better, he'll have Liam punch him.

"Okay, sorry. That was blunt, I wasn't trying to scare you off. I just- I wanted to talk to you about it. Because I feel like maybe I can help with whatever you're going through, and I really want to. For you and for Zayn, because this has all been pretty hard on him and I think if you can figure out how you feel about everything, it will help him deal with his own stuff, you know."  
Now that sounds a lot more like Harry, and Liam seems to soften up at these words. His shoulders had been all tensed up since they first walked in there, and now he finally relaxes, rubbing at the back of his head as he looks at Harry with his eyebrows doing that puppy thing that he's pretty sure no one in the world could resist.

"I'm- I don't know, Harry. I do like Zayn. Before I kissed him, I thought a lot about what it would be like, and then after I'd actually done it I couldn't think of anything else. I still can't. It's draining me, how much I want to kiss him every time I see him, but I just can't do it. I can't."

Harry nods slowly at his words, and he scoots closer to him, putting his hands over his.

"Listen, Li, I know it's scary. Everything about love in general is terrifying, and you're right to be scared because there is every chance it will break you into a million pieces that you won't know how to glue back together. But if what you're scared of is other people, if what's keeping you from being with someone you love is what other people may think, then you need to get over that because you're wasting your time. Other people suck and they can be mean, but all they can do is insult you or maybe try to beat you up, though I doubt anyone would get very far with that now that you're all muscly and stuff, but that's it. They can't really hurt you unless you let them. And if you love Zayn like I think you do, and he holds your hand through it, then it's going to be fine. I get that it's hard, but in life you have to always do your best effort to try and be happy, or else you're just wasting your time on Earth."

As he speaks, Harry knows how hypocritical he's being, telling Liam off for not seizing his chance at being happy when he's been moping in his bed for over a month without even trying to get out, but he'll deal with himself later. He does have a promise to keep anyway. He gives Liam a small, tentative smile, and when he finds it mirrored in his face he lets it grow as wide as he can.

"I guess you're right." Liam finally says, taking a deep breath before speaking. "I know you're right, actually. I think I really needed to hear all of that, you know?" Harry nods and does his best not to chuckle because if Liam finds out that him needing to hear this is the reason they're in there, he's probably going to murder Louis when he gets out, and he'd rather he stays out of prison for long enough to make Zayn as happy as he should be.

"Yeah. And if you ever need to hear it again, or you need any other form of encouragement such as sappy songs or pats on the back, you can always come to me. I know a lot about comforting people."  
Liam shifts so he can wrap his arms around him and pull him into a hug that Harry leans into happily, and just as they're pulling apart there's the sound of a door opening, and down the corridors they can hear a very familiar voice speaking at a volume level neither of them has ever heard before. Zayn is usually a pretty quiet person, but judging from the tone of his voice, he's suffered some sort of transformation. When he finally gets to their cell, Harry confirms what he was thinking, because he doesn't look like Zayn at all. His eyes seem to be about to pop out of his face, and his hair is a mess, which is seriously worrying because his hair is never anything less than perfect. He appears to be having some kind of nervous breakdown, and it suddenly occurs to Harry what might have happened to make him look like this and he jumps up, walking up to him with his eyes wide open.

"No, I didn't kill Louis, but I'm going to do it right after I get you two out of here." Zayn says before he can even ask, and Harry breathes again. "You don't deserve me getting you out, actually, but your mom would hunt me down if I don't do it." He adds pointing an accusing finger at Harry and he curses under his breath because of course Louis told him everything, the little shit. So now Zayn knows Liam has been pressured into making a move, fantastic. Harry can just feel how quickly everything is going to fall apart now, he can sense it, but then again, he's never been very good at reading situations.

 

They drop him off at his place before heading back to campus where both Zayn and Liam have rooms, and Harry's on his own for what seems to be the first time in years. As dreadful as the whole night was, he has to admit all of the shit Louis' been pulling and the whole Liam and Zayn drama has kept him busy enough that he doesn't spend his every second thinking about Niall. It's nice, because it means his heart has periods of time in which it can recover from the pain, but whenever he goes back to thinking about it, he realizes he feels exactly the same. Still as empty, still as in love.

He figures he should probably wait until he's had time to process everything that's happened to do this, but he just watched Zayn and Liam walking away together and they looked so much like a couple it made him want to pluck his eyes out with a spoon so yeah, he's doing it now. He closes the curtains because the sun will rise soon and he's not in the mood for it, and after taking off his shoes and jeans he curls up in his bed and dials the number.

It rings three times and then there's that voice. The world stops turning and the entire room is lit up because he's hearing Niall cackling into his phone and it's the most obnoxiously beautiful sound he's ever heard.

"Hey, babe." This isn't the way this phone call is supposed to go, he's not supposed to be on the verge of tears already but he misses him so much and yet he can almost feel the warmth of his body pressed up against him just by listening to him.

"Hi", he replies weakly, and there's a lot of hushing and then the sound of a door closing. He hopes he hasn't been too obvious about how broken up he is inside, because he doesn't want Niall to be worrying about him.

"Fuck, I miss you." Harry breathes deeply because he didn't expect that, he didn't expect Niall's voice to quiver like that, he didn't expect Niall to miss him. He's so used to being the one who gives everything without ever getting anything in return he'd nearly forgotten how different everything is with Niall and this sudden reminder only serves to make him sadder.

"I miss you too." He manages to say, and then he waits because he doesn't know what to say. He doesn't know how to explain how small the verb missing is for what he's actually feeling inside, how the loneliness is eating him up. He doesn't know how to say they shouldn't have broken up, they shouldn't have done this, because he never wanted freedom from Niall, but he can't say any of those things because maybe Niall did want freedom from him, and the mere thought of that makes his heart shrink in his chest.

"I've been trying so hard not to call you, but I don't think I could have lasted another day if you hadn't called me." But then Niall says things like these and he thinks it's all ridiculous because he knows Niall loves him, and if he's going through what he's going, then they're being idiots about this.

"I had a near to death experience and I promised myself I'd call you if I survived it." Niall laughs at this and Harry smiles through the tears he hadn't realized were falling.

"I leave you for a couple of months and you have a near to death experience? Was it Louis' fault?" Harry has to restrain himself from screaming because no, it's not a couple of months, it's a whole fucking year. Instead he nods, then remembers he can't see him so he makes himself speak.  
"Yeah, we're doing this thing, trying to get Liam and Zayn together." He starts saying, and soon he's deep into the story, forgetting that Niall is locked in a broom's closet at some shitty hotel room where his band is staying at, pretending he's right there instead. It's easy to do, with Niall always reacting exactly like he should, always so invested in whatever Harry has to say no matter how far from the topic he rambles. They fall back into their usual dynamics and for a while, Harry forgets about how much it hurts.

He falls asleep on the phone, and when he wakes up the following morning, Niall still hasn't hung up but there's a text from him saying "We'll split up the bill so you're not homeless. I missed you xx." and Harry hangs up instantly, the weight of his absence falling all over him once again, wrapping him up like a wet blanket that he can't shake off.

 

It doesn't happen overnight and while Zayn is slightly grateful for that because it means Liam is actually giving it some thought and not just blindingly following whatever Harry's told him, it's also terrifying. He can't stop thinking about it, because what if he's changed his mind? What if now that he's been pressured to do something about this limbo they've been in for months now, he realizes he's actually not into Zayn at all, and decides to get a cute, blonde cheerleader to date him? There are so many options, that it's impossible for him to focus on reading anything, much less studying, so he's been sitting in the floor for hours, surrounded by his books. He keeps pretending to study because otherwise he'll just end up drawing doodles of Liam's face and that's plain pathetic and he's working on avoiding that as tempting as it is. But the thing is, he's too worried and he can't find it in him to give a fuck about the Renaissance, so he goes to pull his sketchbook from under his bed when there's a tentative knock on the door.

He hears Liam's voice asking if he's in and there's shivers running down his back. Fuck. What if this is it? "Come in", he replies with a weak string of voice and the door opens, Liam walking in. He has a sheepish smile on his face that kills each and everyone of Zayn's hopes because he knows that look all too well. He's going to apologize. He fucking knew it, Liam is going to apologize for leading him on or some other sort of bullshit, and then he's going to invite him to his wedding with the cheerleader. He must be scowling at him, because Liam's smile fades away and Zayn has to physically force himself to smile and pat the floor in front of him.

"Hey. I was wondering if you had a minute, because there's something I kind of wanted to talk to you about?" Liam starts, and Zayn can't help but sigh.

"Yeah, sure. But listen, if this is about what Harry said, you don't have to say anything. He's been a proper idiot about this whole thing, and it's fine, really, I get it, you don't have to apologize or whatever it is you were going to do."

"But I do have to apologize."

Zayn grunts, and he runs his fingers through his hair leaving it positively disheveled.

"Please, Liam, don't. It's honestly okay, I didn't expect you to keep on liking me forever or-" Those are  
Liam's lips on his own, and he should really stop trying to read Liam because he's clearly shit at it.

"I wanted to apologize for making you wait so long, and for being such a coward, when you deserve so much better. But I do still like you. A lot. I think I even love you a little bit, if that's okay with you."  
Zayn doesn't remember Liam pulling away and he's sure if he'd been aware of him doing that he would have prevented it from happening, but now he's glad he didn't because Liam just said he loves him and his heart might burst with joy.

"That's more than okay. But does this mean... I don't want you to feel pressured into doing anything."

Liam laughs softly and Zayn realizes it might be a little late for that. He's going to murder his friends. After hugging them really tightly because they got Liam to do this, and they're sort of wonderful.

"I would have come around at some point, they just... helped me get there quicker. I'm grateful they did, actually. Although I wish Louis hadn't locked us in that elevator, that was terrible." The way Liam cringes at that memory makes Zayn feel like kissing him again. Then he remembers he can do that now, and he nearly jumps at him, kissing him softly.

"As much as I'm liking this kissing part, I still want to talk to you." Zayn sits back at this, trying not to pout at the lack of contact because talking is important and the faster they straighten everything out, the sooner they can go back to kissing. "This isn't easy for me, not at all. And it's going to take me time, and I'll probably panic many more times about this."

"So you'll be hard to handle." Zayn singsongs, and Liam laughs. It's such a little gesture, but he knows his laugh so well, how he throws his head back a little bit, the way his eyes crinkle at the sides, and he just loves him so much he doesn't know how a feeling this big can fit in his body without making him explode. "I can live with that. We'll get past it. I've been there too, okay, and I know it's going to be hard at first but I'll make it worth it. I promise I'll make it worth it."

He says it with as much conviction as possible because he knows exactly what Liam's going to be put through. People at college might be older but that doesn't make them more mature in any way and Zayn is making the promise to both of them that if Liam takes this leap of faith for him, he'll do whatever it takes to make sure he never regrets it. Liam moves so he's sitting next to him, and he links their fingers together, pressing a kiss on his shoulder.

"Let's never tell Louis his plan worked." Zayn says, smiling softly at him, but Liam looks baffled by this. "This wasn't Louis' plan. I don't think Louis ever thought I would have the courage to do this, he seriously underestimated Harry's ability to go all Christmas Carol on me and show me how I was wasting my life. I thought you'd figured out what Louis was trying to do."

Zayn shakes his head, and he'll worry about this later, he will. There's just more pressing matters he needs to attend to right now, such as the fact that Liam's been saying lots of things instead of kissing him, and they have months of lost time to make up for.

 

After not talking to Niall for months, now Harry finds himself calling him for the second time this week. He got a text from Zayn telling him everything had worked out between him and Liam so he might not murder him in his sleep after all, and he's happy for them, he really is, but now they're going to be a happy couple and he can't see how he's going to survive it. Not when by now he should have been in a relationship for long enough to act conceited about it and give them advice about it, looking like their baby steps in trying to be together are hilarious to him. Instead, all he's got is a hole in his heart and youtube videos of the love of his life smiling at other people, singing to other people, being incredibly happy with other people.  
So he can't take it anymore, and as he walks out of his last class of the day, he takes out his phone and dials the number. As soon as Niall picks up, the words come out of his mouth so quickly he doesn't expect him to understand any of what he's saying.

“We shouldn't have broken up, it was a stupid thing to do because I never even wanted to be free from you or whatever, I just wanted to be with you, and if you are far away, I just want to be able to call you every night before going to bed and tell you how much I love you. We shouldn't have broken up.”

There's silence at the other end of the line, and when Niall speaks, he sounds small and bruised, just like Harry's feeling.

“I miss you so much, you have no idea. I'm sorry. It was stupid, I thought- I thought you'd be happier like this. I only did it because I thought you'd be happier. I love you.”

Someone's shouting Niall's name, and Harry's fighting back his tears, regretting having called him while he's still on the street, where people can see him.

“I have to go.”

Harry nods into his phone, and sighs. “Okay. We'll talk soon, okay?”

“Okay. I love you. I miss you. I'm sorry. We'll work it out, I promise.”

Each of those phrases is like a blow to Harry's heart because he knows they can't change things like this. They can't just decide they're back together on the phone. He needs to see him desperately so, to put his arms around him and talk, face to face, explain how badly he wants to be with him always no matter how long he has to be on the road. How he'd rather live cramped up in the back of his tour bus than have to stay in a different continent and try to live without him being a part of his life. But he can't say all of that from here, he needs to do it while he's holding him, he has to be able to kiss him every time he doubts how sincere he is about not wanting to have any sort of freedom whatsoever when he's gone. Since none of that seems to be possible because there's an ocean between them, he settles on finding Louis so he can drown his sorrows in cheap wine.

Harry finds Louis sitting on his bed, just like he expected. Well, not exactly like he expected, since he thought he would find him in his own bed, yet he's at Harry's and he looks so much like a puppy left in the rain that he actually feels bad for him. "Are you mad at me?" is the first thing he says, and Harry sighs because he is a little bit mad at him but not that much. It was quite the experience, spending three hours behind the bars, and it's definitely a great story to tell his grandchildren.

"No, it's okay. It wasn't your brightest idea, but it was fun, in a very weird way." He says smiling as he sits next to him, and Louis loses all the guilt from his expression in the blink of an eye, the fucker.

"Good, you couldn't have been mad, it was a great plan and now you can use the story of the time you spent behind bars as a pick up line." Harry tries to laugh at that, he really does, but the sound dies in his throat. It's been months now, and his heart is still as empty as it was the first week of being without Niall. The thought of ever setting his eyes on someone else depresses him because he knows it won't ever be the same.

"No need to look that grim, Styles, I was merely making a suggestion. I'm sure you can come up with better things, you did after all seduce a rockstar."  
It's like Louis is playing at seeing how much he can talk until he makes him cry, but he should know Harry well enough by now to know that the limit isn't very far away. Still, he takes a deep breath, doing his best not to be a little kid who bursts into tears whenever someone's mean to him, and he fights back his tears.

"Can we talk about something else?" He's very proud of how he managed to say that entire sentence without his voice breaking, he should get some sort of medal for it. Louis smiles at him and for an instant Harry thinks they might actually get to talk about something else, but then he says, "Actually, there's something I want to tell you and it's about Niall in a way" and Harry bites his lip with all his strength to keep it from quivering. Louis shimmies something out of his back pockets, and hands it over to Harry.

"What is this?"

"It's a plane ticket." Louis rolls his eyes at him and okay, Harry sees that it's a ticket, but that's not what he is asking. "I'm disappointed in both you and Zayn for not figuring out before, Liam kept telling me I was being too obvious and you two idiots were completely oblivious to it the whole time. Do you really think that little of me that you believe I could go through all that trouble when I could have called Liam up and told him to meet me somewhere and talk to him?"

Harry is at a complete loss for words, because he has no idea what Louis is talking about. Of course he thought that was what he was doing, he's seen him do much wilder stuff without any real motive, and this actually had a sort of proper reasoning behind it. What baffles him the most is that he's just realizing he could have done the exact same thing, yet he went along with everything Louis came up with, no questions asked.

"I- I don't understand. What were you trying to do then?"

Louis seems to find this question completely offensive, judging from the outraged expression on his face. "I was trying to cheer you up, you moron." He replies while slapping Harry in the head. "You and that dumb little boyfriend of yours are miserable without each other, and it's terrible to watch. Especially because there was already Zayn and Liam being miserable and I couldn't keep on coexisting with so many miserable people, as much as I enjoy being the life of the party, I need a party to be the life to, and with all of you moping around there was no such thing. So I decided to fix you, since I was pretty sure there was no helping Liam out with his situation, and here we are."

It doesn't make any sense, and Harry keeps looking back and forth between Louis and the plane ticket he's holding.

"I distracted you so you wouldn't be an emotional trainwreck when you got to see him." Louis' tone is a clear indication that he's losing his patience, and he shakes his head at Harry, pointing at the destination of the plane on the ticket. "I'm taking you to see him. We're all going, it's our spring break holiday gift or whatever, and I would have given it to you sooner but I figured you wouldn't want Niall to see you when you were dressing like a homeless person and not showering."

"I don't know if I should be more surprised about you getting me a plane ticket, or about you getting me into jail to cheer me up. Your mind works in mysterious ways, Lou, but... but thanks. This is wonderful, everything you've done has been a little messed up but also wonderful. Thank you. You shouldn't have, and I'll pay you back for the ticket."  
"I expect you to, I only got it because I knew you'd never do it yourself, but money doesn't grow on trees as I'm sure you've been taught."

There's a smile slowly forming on Harry's face and he leans in to hug Louis as tightly as he can, mumbling as many expressions of gratitude as he can come up with. So he's seeing Niall in five days, according to his plane ticket, and all he has to do is keep himself busy until then, preferably by doing things that don't end up with him in jail.

 

They don't tell Niall they'll be there, because apparently Louis' plan also involved getting in touch with the other guys in the band so he got them all backstage passes without him finding out, and they sneak in when the band's just gone on stage. The concert's in California, and Harry's never been to America but he couldn't care less about anything but the beautiful blonde boy he just watched jumping up from his platform, his guitar hanging from his shoulders and that stupidly wide grin on his face. He can't believe they're this close and it's hard to keep himself from running onto the stage and wrapping himself around him like a koala bear. Zayn's got a hand on his arm and he knows it's probably to keep him from doing exactly that. He just looks so beautiful out there, so incredibly happy to be playing his music in front of all those people, with his smile lighting up the whole place like a beacon Harry feels drawn to like a moth to a flame.

It's a good thing Zayn doesn't let go of him because at some point after their sixth or seventh song, they wave goodbye and Harry realizes they're going to be running to where he is to get changed, and he's going to be standing there. Niall's going to run right into him, and he's not prepared, but there's no time to think it over because they are already turning in their direction and if it wasn't because they've turned all the stage lights off, Niall would have seen him already. Instead, he doesn't see him until they're face to face, one of his helpful bandmates pushing him towards Harry.

"Haz." He mumbles, suddenly frozen, and Harry's heart stops or at least that's what it feels like. Niall looks eternally confused for a moment, but then there's a gigantic smile breaking through and he wraps Harry in a hug so tight it literally takes his breath away. "You're here." He hears Niall whispering into his ear, and for the first time in months, Harry feels whole.


End file.
